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Part 4: Half Time

This allowed me and Jo not only to get a breather - it's surprisingly hectic moving tables every three minutes and constantly re-introducing yourself to new people - but also to catch up on how things were going for each of us.

We pored over our score sheets at this point and reached the conclusion that I was either far too nice to people or far too desperate, being as I'd only had a definite "no" for two or three girls (one of whom, I might add, actually used the immortal phrase "but I'm better now" which almost had me climbing over the back of the seat in a wild attempt at self-preservation) and many, many ticks in the "yes" box. Jo on the other hand was obviously not enjoying any happy hunting, having miserably failed to meet anyone she liked at all. Oh well.

From there it was back to the circulating and the biggest surprise of my evening - I sat down at one table to find, well, a girl who was - certainly in my slightly weird opinion - exceedingly good-looking (Jo had also pointed her out earlier so I know she was actually pretty).

Naturally I started trying to search for any obvious mental illnesses, but there were none in evidence. I even had a swift glance at her legs to make sure they weren't of different lengths or perhaps even wooden - it just didn't compute that an obviously articulate and attractive woman was speed dating…surely she really didn't have any trouble finding men to take her to dinner?

This, as I found out, was not the problem - the problem was exactly what speed dating gurus set the entire thing up for; she had a job that entailed long hours and a lot of effort and, as a result, found herself with very little social life in which to meet anyone. Figuring she didn't have anything to lose, herself and a couple of her friends had come down for the evening to check things out and appeared to be having a good time.

Anyway, three minutes passed far too fast and the last time I saw her she was leaving…maybe she'll have ticked the "yes" box in my case - hopefully not the same way I did, which was with a series of emphatic lines suggesting nothing more than crazed serial-killer out for blood…I think I may even have written "please, please, please" next to the tick too. In fact, I know I did…

We'll find out whether I was her type soon anyway - hopefully I'll have a confirmation email coming in shortly. However, I'm not really holding out much hope, I am a small fat Irishman with bad hair and a habit of making exceedingly tasteless jokes; certainly Scunthorpe United to her Real Madrid.

After that things proceeded pretty much as they had previously although there was an amusing and somewhat disorientating incident where myself and my date at the time realised that we were both journalists and both there to cover the event (and no, it wasn't Jo), leading us to wonder just how many other people in there were actually members of the press.

I then accused another Kiwi girl of being Australian, which went down rather like a lead balloon and finished up by tripping over a step right at a point when I was trying to look especially graceful. Happily the next person to do it spilt their entire pint on the floor and looked much more of a tit than I had…

NEXT - Part 5: Full Time

Certainly one of Americas best exports! - I loved every minute of it. I came with a group of workmates and all of us had an amazing night. I will definitely be back if it doesn't work out with one of my matches" 

Anna, Balham

"I felt compelled to email and let you know how much fun I had last night, the people there were great and it was all so well organised" 

Russell, Wimbledon 

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