The perception of speed dating has changed significantly in the last 10 years or so. No longer seen as the preserve of the desperate and dateless, it has become a normal – dare I say fashionable – way to meet like-minded individuals, even if it is just for fun evening out.
Literally thousands of people every year attend our speed dating events in London making Original Dating the number one choice for young professionals looking to meet people in a fun and interesting way.
So it's with confusion that my recent internet search for 'speed dating advice for women' brought up an entire page of articles for men!
So this one's just for the ladies based on questions I've been asked over the last few years. Of the less intelligent gender I may be but I hope you'll trust my experience on this one.
Dress for yourself
Less intelligent we may be but us guys know that you don't dress for us, you generally dress for other women. You're far more competitive than us and we can tell when you've dressed to impress. And yet we're insecure as well and like to think that we may still be your focus. Dressing for yourself will naturally make you more relaxed and confidence is a very attractive trait. And ironically we will believe that you're actually trying to impress us! Just remember, tracksuit pants and cocktail bars are rarely a good combination.
Be honest with your signals
We're a simple species and find it very difficult to understand the more nuanced signals you're giving us. If you like us, let us know in a fairly obvious way. If you're not keen, be nice but make it clear and keep smiling while keeping the conversation on the straight and narrow.
Chat to other women
Guys will almost always chat to other guys. We're pack animals and find safety in numbers. Strangely, girls will generally avoid talking to anyone but their friends. We don't understand this rivalry. It seems unfriendly and when you're suddenly all smiles for us we get confused and think you're being dishonest.
Don't judge our jobs
It's fine to ask people what they do as long as you expand on the question. Ask if they enjoy what they do. This opens up the whole conversation and lets the guy talk about himself for a bit. But don't, as I've seen many times before, respond to “I'm in IT/Tech/Banking” with a disappointed “Oh...”, a shifting of the eyes and a sudden silence. How many of us can really say we're doing a job we love?
Talk!
It's 2013. While the common perception is that men think as if it's the 1950's, you'll be pleasantly surprised. The most attractive trait in anyone is confidence. Expecting the guy to make all the conversation while greeting each question with a yes/no is not flirtatiously alluring and mysterious. It's lazy and a little insulting. Okay, we love to talk about ourselves but it's often out of nervousness and a need to fill every silence with anything to hand. Relaxed confidence is infectious and everyone is more attractive when they're relaxed.
So there you have it. Not exactly a definitive guide, but a few tips that I hope will help light the way.
Now you've got the inside track you can put these tips into practice at one of our events coming up soon. Check them out here.
WORDS BY JOHN DAVIS