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Dispelling the myths of speed dating: Don't believe what you read on the internet

Friday November 9, 2012

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I don't normally use my time off to research work related topics but I'd recently begun to wonder what the rest of the world thought about speed dating. I'd heard that many still see it as a little odd, if not sad and desperate. Where, I thought, are they getting this misinformation?

One word: The internets. The internet is a wonderful resource containing pretty much any and all information you could ever want. Unfortunately, the sheer weight of data means that, without a PhD in research skills, 99 percent will be absolute dross. The more dross you read, the higher it will appear in searches. It's classic quantity over quality.

For example, I've just read an article entitled titled "The Best 45 Speed Dating Questions You Can Ask A Prospective Date". Notwithstanding the fact it's not a prospective date but an actual date, 45 questions?!

How fast do you talk? In addition this font of speed dating knowledge contained such genius as "Where are you from?" & "If you were an animal in the wild, what would you be?" followed by the advice that this is "Silly, amusing to get the laughs." The article concludes with the helpful note that "There are numerous other questions you can ask on a speed date if you rack your brains".

I'm sorry; the speed dating events I run have one stipulation - Age. I have yet to come across an event where the main stipulation is single and double digit IQ's only. If I based my opinions of speed dating on such articles I would lobby Parliament to have speed dating classified as a crime against humanity!

Other advice found on the internet includes "make sure you say something that puts her down slightly. That way the only way is up", or "if you like him, don't tell him. You have to keep him guessing."

This is rambling idiocy. This suggests that speed daters are socially inept sociopaths who smell of fish fingers.

Luckily the truth is utterly different.

People who choose to come speed dating are, by definition, sociable and confident.

Think about it. Telling someone who has significant social problems that they have to meet in a strange bar and to talk to 20 strangers for four minutes at a time will not encourage them to do so. They will probably start to cry.

Don't get me wrong. The people that do attend have probably read the horror stories on the internet but decide that it could actually be quite good fun. Imagine their surprise when they turn up and find 40 people of exactly the same mind-set.

Speed Dating is primarily about relaxing and having fun. It's not an exam. It's not the culmination of your life's work for which nothing short of extensive training and preparation is suitable. It's not even about meeting the one, although many people do.

Pop along, have a drink, relax and have fun. The worst thing that will happen is a few hours of chilled out fun in the presence of like-minded people you may not normally get to meet. Just check you psychopathy at the door or you'll stand out like a sore thumb.

I hope to see you at one of our events very soon!

JOHN DAVIS