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5 New Rules For ‘New’ World Dating

Friday April 5, 2013

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The Dating World has changed, not least because of the influence of technology. Yet chivalry and manners still operate in the same way and can make the difference between a wonderful second and third date or a polite thanks but no thanks.

And these rules apply to everyone whatever gender or sexual persuasion.

So here are my 5 tips for the modern dater.

1) To Google or Not to Google
Is that really a question? It’s up to you if you Google your potential paramour but if you do, be prepared to discover things you may not want to know. Likewise assume that you will googled.

However, if you are the googler, does it really matter that your subject has pictures of them looking like an absolute twat with luminous laces and an undercut while vomiting against an ambulance from ten years ago? Don’t be too precious.

If you are the googled, be prepared to explain how you’ve changed.

2) Age is Old Age
Age difference is becoming less and less a factor in modern dating. That 40 year old may just be the most fun and open person you’ve ever met while that 21 year old may be one of the most conservative fruitcakes that walked the Earth. Try opening your age parameters and see what happens. Even better, try speed dating. You get a good sense of a person because you meet face to face, and rarely is the question of age raised.

3) Don’t Assume Exclusivity
People are busy and the internet and speed dating are making it easier and easier to meet people. Rather than assume the person you’ve been seeing for a couple of weeks is only seeing you, perhaps you should assume the opposite. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing but communication is key. Ask. It also allows you to be honest about what you want.

4) Rules are Made to Be Broken
What idiot said you have to wait three days before responding to someone you like because you don’t want to appear too keen? And with modern communication being what it is, there’s even less excuse to hold on to this ancient piece of claptrap.

If you enjoyed yourself, say so! Communication is key. Just don’t send a message every five minutes until you get a reply. You probably won’t get one at all.

5) Use Technology Carefully
While technology makes things easier it can also depersonalize. The idea of being gentlemanly, for example, hasn’t changed, but the mechanisms by which we do so need a little thought.

For example, a phone call is to texting what a hand written letter was to the phone call not so long ago. Likewise, a taxi pre-booked and paid for online is a chauffeur driven experience compared to the afterthought of a minicab firm. It also saves the waiting and suggests to your date that you really are paying attention and a person about town.

So there you have it. And before you all start whingeing about me not including Facebook allow me to use one word – Don’t. It changes too much, its rules are too ambiguous and it’s settings so untrustworthy that you take your life into your own hands when you share FB with a potential date.


If you've not tried speed dating yet, you should! Nobody runs dating events like Original Dating so check out our events here.



The beauty of Speed Dating London lies in its no-nonsense approach. You take an equal number of single girls and guys, put them in a room and give them a few minutes to chat with every other member of the opposite sex.

When you get there

Original speed dating events in London normally begin at 7.30pm. You will need to register with our hosts and to begin with they will issue you with a score sheet. This will help you to keep track of the singles that you would like to meet again and perhaps go on a date with. After a short period of mingling, your host for the evening who will run through detailed instructions and give you your starting position if you are a guy or table for the event if you are a girl.

Meet & Mingle

A London speed dating event is split into two halves, each lasting around an hour, there will be an interval at half time of about 15 minutes for speed dating London. You will have between 4 and 5 minutes with each person, after which you need to tick a box on your score sheet - "yes, I would like to meet this person again" or "no. Thanks but no thanks". Or "friend" if you'd like to get to know them platonically. Make sure that you do this after each date to keep track. Afterwards there is an opportunity for everyone to meet and mingle informally - this is often where the real action begins, so make sure you don't disappear too quickly!

Complete your score sheet

After the event you simply tick who you liked on the Original Dating website and the site works about your matches automatically. If the dates you have ticked as a "yes" have reciprocated you have a match. You will be able to view the first names and message them via our site online without revealing your email address until you are ready to. You'll be having proper first dates in no time.