The Dating World has changed, not least because of the influence of technology. Yet chivalry and manners still operate in the same way and can make the difference between a wonderful second and third date or a polite thanks but no thanks.
And these rules apply to everyone whatever gender or sexual persuasion.
So here are my 5 tips for the modern dater.
1) To Google or Not to Google
Is that really a question? It’s up to you if you Google your potential paramour but if you do, be prepared to discover things you may not want to know. Likewise assume that you will googled.
However, if you are the googler, does it really matter that your subject has pictures of them looking like an absolute twat with luminous laces and an undercut while vomiting against an ambulance from ten years ago? Don’t be too precious.
If you are the googled, be prepared to explain how you’ve changed.
2) Age is Old Age
Age difference is becoming less and less a factor in modern dating. That 40 year old may just be the most fun and open person you’ve ever met while that 21 year old may be one of the most conservative fruitcakes that walked the Earth. Try opening your age parameters and see what happens. Even better, try speed dating. You get a good sense of a person because you meet face to face, and rarely is the question of age raised.
3) Don’t Assume Exclusivity
People are busy and the internet and speed dating are making it easier and easier to meet people. Rather than assume the person you’ve been seeing for a couple of weeks is only seeing you, perhaps you should assume the opposite. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing but communication is key. Ask. It also allows you to be honest about what you want.
4) Rules are Made to Be Broken
What idiot said you have to wait three days before responding to someone you like because you don’t want to appear too keen? And with modern communication being what it is, there’s even less excuse to hold on to this ancient piece of claptrap.
If you enjoyed yourself, say so! Communication is key. Just don’t send a message every five minutes until you get a reply. You probably won’t get one at all.
5) Use Technology Carefully
While technology makes things easier it can also depersonalize. The idea of being gentlemanly, for example, hasn’t changed, but the mechanisms by which we do so need a little thought.
For example, a phone call is to texting what a hand written letter was to the phone call not so long ago. Likewise, a taxi pre-booked and paid for online is a chauffeur driven experience compared to the afterthought of a minicab firm. It also saves the waiting and suggests to your date that you really are paying attention and a person about town.
So there you have it. And before you all start whingeing about me not including Facebook allow me to use one word – Don’t. It changes too much, its rules are too ambiguous and it’s settings so untrustworthy that you take your life into your own hands when you share FB with a potential date.
WORDS BY JOHN DAVIS
If you've not tried speed dating yet, you should! Nobody runs dating events like Original Dating so check out our events here.