There are some men who tread their own path, who carve a way through life unique from all those around them. To you sirs, wherever you are, I salute you. I have had the privilege of meeting many of you because you are the ones who attend Speed Dating events, often alone because you are a pioneer, a trend-setter, a man amongst boys.
Then there is the rest. The friends of the pioneer who mock his forward thinking. They cast doubt on innovation, on new thinking, on courage and bravery because they are afraid. Years ago these people would mocked anyone considered the planet Earth could have been anything but flat.
It is to you, fearful ones, for whom this missive is intended. While you send the hero out into the world of speed dating, your laughter wringing in his ears, it is upon you that the last laugh will fall.
This is how it works:
It's 7:30. You're 3 beers in with some other friends in cowardice, laughingly guessing at the fate that has befallen your erstwhile companion. As the evening progresses you will contemplate the relative merits of various females in your proximity. "I don't need to speed date" you will tell yourself as you further line your stomach with liquid courage.
It's 8:30. Is that a woman? You're not sure. Are there 3 or six of them? Another beer will sort you out. You're unstoppable.
Meanwhile, your 'laughable' companion has discussed sex, politics, Ugg boots and the relative merits of Timmy Mallett with 15 stunning women. He has already swapped numbers with 2 of them. And it's only half time. Your only engagement with the more intelligent gender has been a slurring offer to buy a drink and the witty remark that she looks like a slim version of Vanessa Feltz. She politely declines by laughing in your face. But you're on fire. You return to your mates with another pint.
It's now 9:30. You've actually managed to engage in conversation with someone who appears rather attractive if you close one eye. She's even laughing at your impression of Sean Connery. It's been 10 mins! Who needs Speed Dating? Pah!
Your friend has met another 10 women and is now at the bar chatting to 3 having exchanged 2 more numbers and he still has tomorrows online matching results to come.
You are flying! She even laughed at your sick Jimmy Savile joke. She turns to you. Look you in your one sober eye and says: "Thanks for keeping me company. My boyfriend's here now. You gay guys are so much fun." And walks away.
It's midnight. Where do we stand?
Your adventurous friend is in a club with 12 others from the Speed Date night with no intention of leaving anytime soon.
You are sprawled, half dressed and alone watching Babestation swirling in front of you. You half consider a drunken hand shandy while smelling of kebabs before deciding a trip to the fridge for another beer is in order. You wake upon the kitchen floor.
Gentleman, I tell you now, this story is true. True for so many men each week.
So to you sir - YES YOU - I ask, which are you? The pioneer warrior? Or the drunken has-been?
The choice is now yours.
Lesbian Speed Dating
Sat 14 Jun 2025
KOMYUNITI - YOTEL, London, Clerkenwell
Join us for lesbian speed dating and meet around 15 women. Did we mention a free welcome drink?
Saturday Night Speed Dating - 30s & 40s
Sat 14 Jun 2025
The Kings Arms, Central London
One of the busiest and best speed dating events in Central London, not to be missed. Book your ti...
Speed Dating in Clapham
Thu 19 Jun 2025
Sugar Cane, London, Clapham Junction
You'll typically meet 15-18 people for our popular speed dating event at this cool venue in CJ.
Speed Dating in St Albans
Thu 19 Jun 2025
The Crown, St Albans, Hertfordshire
This is St Albans' busiest speed date at Hertfordshire's finest bar. Join us to meet up to 30 sin...
Speed Dating in Glasgow
Thu 19 Jun 2025
Moskito Cocktail Bar, Central Glasgow
Join us for an evening of multiple dates at our brand new venue in Glasgow.
Speed Dating in Edinburgh
Thu 19 Jun 2025
Manahatta EDINBURGH, Edinburgh, Scotland
Edinburgh's best speed dating event at the fantastic brand-new venue.
Friday Night Speed Dating
Fri 20 Jun 2025
The Anthologist (panel room), London, The City
It's our busiest event of the week. 20 dates and no work tomorrow. You just can't beat this event.
Over 50s Friday Night Speed Dating
Fri 20 Jun 2025
Jamies Tudor Street, London, The City
Kick start your weekend with Friday night speed dating at our brand new venue in the heart of the...
Speed Dating in Oxford
Fri 20 Jun 2025
Hank's Bar, Oxford, Oxfordshire
Start the weekend with speed dating in the city's trendiest bar.
Coffee Lovers Speed Dating
Sat 21 Jun 2025
The Thirsty Scholar, London, Central London
You'll typically meet 15-18 people for an afternoon coffee and connect with single Londoners at t...
30s & 40s Speed Dating
Sat 21 Jun 2025
Komyuniti @ Yotel , London, Clerkenwell
Brand-new Saturday night event at Yotel. Did we mention a free welcome drink?
Saturday Night Speed Dating - 30s & 40s
Sat 21 Jun 2025
The Kings Arms, Central London
One of the busiest and best speed dating events in Central London, not to be missed. Book your ti...
Chemistry - Over 40s Singles Party
Sat 21 Jun 2025
The Happenstance (Lounge Bar), London, St Pauls
Chemistry - a unique over 40s singles party for those that are serious about dating.
Over 40s Speed Dating in Cambridge
Wed 25 Jun 2025
The Lab, Cambridge, Cambridgeshire
Join around 30 singles at this trendy Cambridge venue for a fun night meeting new people.
Speed Dating in Islington
Thu 26 Jun 2025
The Brougham, London, Islington
Islington's very one speed dating event at this ace North London venue.
Speed Dating in Canterbury
Thu 26 Jun 2025
One Pound Lane, Canterbury, Kent
Canterbury's busiest speed dating event. Join us and meet new people in person.
Speed Dating in Derby
Thu 26 Jun 2025
Carnero Lounge, Derby, Derbyshire
Derby's busiest speed dating event. Meet up to 15 singles at this cool bar, in the heart of Derby.
Speed Dating in Maidstone
Thu 26 Jun 2025
Mu Mu, Maidstone, Kent
NEW - Join us for Maidstone's busiest speed dating event at this unique venue.
Speed Dating in Oxford
Thu 26 Jun 2025
The Varsity Club, Oxford, Oxfordshire
Oxford's busiest speed dating event. 15-20 dates in one fun night at this fab venue.
Friday Night Speed Dating
Fri 27 Jun 2025
The Refinery City Point, London, Central London
It's our busiest event of the week. 20 dates and no work tomorrow. You just can't beat this event.
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