There are some men who tread their own path, who carve a way through life unique from all those around them. To you sirs, wherever you are, I salute you. I have had the privilege of meeting many of you because you are the ones who attend Speed Dating events, often alone because you are a pioneer, a trend-setter, a man amongst boys.
Then there is the rest. The friends of the pioneer who mock his forward thinking. They cast doubt on innovation, on new thinking, on courage and bravery because they are afraid. Years ago these people would mocked anyone considered the planet Earth could have been anything but flat.
It is to you, fearful ones, for whom this missive is intended. While you send the hero out into the world of speed dating, your laughter wringing in his ears, it is upon you that the last laugh will fall.
This is how it works:
It's 7:30. You're 3 beers in with some other friends in cowardice, laughingly guessing at the fate that has befallen your erstwhile companion. As the evening progresses you will contemplate the relative merits of various females in your proximity. "I don't need to speed date" you will tell yourself as you further line your stomach with liquid courage.
It's 8:30. Is that a woman? You're not sure. Are there 3 or six of them? Another beer will sort you out. You're unstoppable.
Meanwhile, your 'laughable' companion has discussed sex, politics, Ugg boots and the relative merits of Timmy Mallett with 15 stunning women. He has already swapped numbers with 2 of them. And it's only half time. Your only engagement with the more intelligent gender has been a slurring offer to buy a drink and the witty remark that she looks like a slim version of Vanessa Feltz. She politely declines by laughing in your face. But you're on fire. You return to your mates with another pint.
It's now 9:30. You've actually managed to engage in conversation with someone who appears rather attractive if you close one eye. She's even laughing at your impression of Sean Connery. It's been 10 mins! Who needs Speed Dating? Pah!
Your friend has met another 10 women and is now at the bar chatting to 3 having exchanged 2 more numbers and he still has tomorrows online matching results to come.
You are flying! She even laughed at your sick Jimmy Savile joke. She turns to you. Look you in your one sober eye and says: "Thanks for keeping me company. My boyfriend's here now. You gay guys are so much fun." And walks away.
It's midnight. Where do we stand?
Your adventurous friend is in a club with 12 others from the Speed Date night with no intention of leaving anytime soon.
You are sprawled, half dressed and alone watching Babestation swirling in front of you. You half consider a drunken hand shandy while smelling of kebabs before deciding a trip to the fridge for another beer is in order. You wake upon the kitchen floor.
Gentleman, I tell you now, this story is true. True for so many men each week.
So to you sir - YES YOU - I ask, which are you? The pioneer warrior? Or the drunken has-been?
The choice is now yours.
THE ORIGINAL DATING SUMMER IN THE CITY PARTY + PRE-PARTY SPEED DATING
Sat 12 Jul 2025
The Happenstance, London, St Pauls
Welcome to the biggest party + pre-party speed dating for single Londoners this summer. 250+ peop...
Lesbian Speed Dating
Sat 12 Jul 2025
KOMYUNITI - YOTEL, London, Clerkenwell
Join us for lesbian speed dating and meet around 15 women. Did we mention a free welcome drink?
THE ORIGINAL DATING SUMMER IN THE CITY PARTY
Sat 12 Jul 2025
The Happenstance, London, St Pauls
Welcome to the biggest party for single Londoners of the summer. 200+ people expected!
Speed Dating in Clapham
Thu 17 Jul 2025
Sugar Cane, London, Clapham Junction
You'll typically meet 15-18 people for our popular speed dating event at this cool venue in CJ.
Speed Dating in St Albans
Thu 17 Jul 2025
The Crown, St Albans, Hertfordshire
This is St Albans' busiest speed date at Hertfordshire's finest bar. Join us to meet up to 30 sin...
Speed Dating in Glasgow
Thu 17 Jul 2025
Moskito Cocktail Bar, Central Glasgow
Join us for an evening of multiple dates at our brand new venue in Glasgow.
Speed Dating in Edinburgh
Thu 17 Jul 2025
Manahatta EDINBURGH, Edinburgh, Scotland
Edinburgh's best speed dating event at this incredible venue.
Summer Singles Party - Bristol
Thu 17 Jul 2025
The Cocktail Club, Bristol
The best Summer Singles party in town! Up to 80 people expected at this top city hotspot.
Friday Night Speed Dating
Fri 18 Jul 2025
The Anthologist (panel room), London, The City
It's our busiest event of the week. 20 dates and no work tomorrow. You just can't beat this event.
Over 50s Friday Night Speed Dating
Fri 18 Jul 2025
Jamies Tudor Street, London, The City
Kick start your weekend with Friday night speed dating at our brand new venue in the heart of the...
Speed Dating in Oxford
Fri 18 Jul 2025
Hank's Bar, Oxford, Oxfordshire
Start the weekend with speed dating in the city's trendiest bar.
Summer Lock and Key Party - Cambridge
Fri 18 Jul 2025
The Cambridge Tap, Cambridgeshire
Join us for our Summer Lock & Key Party. Up to 80 guests expected.
Summer Lock & Key Party Cardiff
Fri 18 Jul 2025
Peppermint Bar, Cardiff, Wales
Meet over 100 other singles in Cardiff this summer! Tickets on sale now!
Summer Singles Party - Glasgow
Fri 18 Jul 2025
Committee Room No.9, Glasgow, Scotland
Don't miss our Summer Singles Party in Glasgow. Up to 80+ people expected.
Coffee Lovers Speed Dating
Sat 19 Jul 2025
The Thirsty Scholar, London, Central London
You'll typically meet 15-18 people for an afternoon coffee and connect with single Londoners at t...
Saturday Night Speed Dating - 30s & 40s
Sat 19 Jul 2025
The Kings Arms, Central London
One of the busiest and best speed dating events in Central London, not to be missed. Book your ti...
Gay Speed Dating
Sat 19 Jul 2025
Komyuniti - Yotel, London, Clerkenwell
Join us for gay speed dating and meet around 15 men. Did we mention a free welcome drink?
Speed Dating in Cambridge
Wed 23 Jul 2025
The Lab, Cambridge, Cambridgeshire
Join around 30 singles at this trendy Cambridge venue for a fun night meeting new people.
Speed Dating in Islington
Thu 24 Jul 2025
The Brougham, London, Islington
Islington's very one speed dating event at this ace North London venue.
Speed Dating in Edinburgh
Thu 24 Jul 2025
Manahatta EDINBURGH, Edinburgh, Scotland
Edinburgh's best speed dating event at the fantastic brand-new venue.
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