I like cheese. Seriously. I like it on toast, with wine, in a Bolognese, on its own, hey, I’ve even had cheddar flavoured ice cream and liked it.
But this is nothing compared to some of the cheese that romantic movies have served up over the years.
So to celebrate the upcoming launch of our Movie Buff Speed Dating night, here are my top 10 cheesiest lines from romantic films.
1. Carrie (Andie MacDowell) to Charles (Hugh Grant) in Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994).
“Is it still raining? I hadn’t noticed.”
Given the British obsession with the weather, this comment is likely to cause any normal Englishman’s head to explode.
Cheese Factor: Fried Halloumi. It makes your teeth squeak when you chew it.
2. Anna (Julia Roberts) to William (Hugh Grant) in Notting Hill (1999).
“I’m also just a girl standing in front of a boy asking him to love her.”
Is it part of Hugh Grant’s contracts that his romantic leads have to speak at least one line of devastatingly powerful cheese?
Cheese Factor: Ripe New Zealand Anchor Reserve. The one with the grainy bits in it.
3. Johnny (Patrick Swayze) and Frances (Jennifer Grey) in Dirty Dancing (1987)
“Nobody puts Baby in the corner.”
But I’ll still talk about her in the third person. And she’s, like, 30 years younger than me. And I’m called Johnny Castle. You heard right.
Cheese Factor: Cheap mozzarella. Ultimately tasteless.
4. Edward (Robert Pattinson) to Bella (Kristen Stewart) in The Twilight saga – Breaking Dawn (Pt 1) (2011)
“No measure of time with you will be long enough. But let’s start with forever.”
And work backwards?
Cheese Factor: Edam. Covered in wax and full of holes.
5. Melvin (Jack Nicholson) to Carol (Helen Hunt) in As Good as it Gets (1997)
“You make me want to be a better man.”
Don’t like pills. Pills are dangerous. Took some pills, cos of you. Um…
Cheese Factor: Cheese Slices. It won’t spoil the whole hamburger but not sure what purpose it solves.
6. Jack (Leonardo DiCaprio) to Rose (Kate Winslet) in Titanic (1997)
"Winning that ticket, Rose, was the best thing that ever
happened to me... it brought me to you."
Two days on a boat and this is what happens. Perhaps would have been better used in Willy Wonka. Consider this ship sunk.
Cheese Factor: Rather ripe stilton.
7. Evelyn (Kate Beckinsale) to Rafe (Ben Affleck) in Pearl Harbor (2001)
"I don't think I'll ever look at another sunset without thinking of you."
Cheese Factor: This is a triple cheese pizza with cheese filled crust deep fried in cheese.
8. Jerry (Tom Cruise) and Dorothy (Renée Zellweger) in Jerry Maguire (1996)
“You complete me.” “You had me at hello.”
Not only do we have two clangers in the same movie, we have two clangers in the same conversation – One from each character. It’s either genius or a disaster.
Cheese Factor: That weird squeezy cheese in a tube.
9. Count László Almásy (Ralph Fiennes) to Katharine (Kristin Scott Thomas) in The English Patient (1996)
“Swoon. I’ll catch you.”
Confidence has rarely been delivered in such a fashion.
Cheese Factor: Monterey Jack.
10. Iceman (Val Kilmer) and Maverick (Tom Cruise) in Top Gun (1986)
“You can be my wingman any time.” “Bullshit. You can be mine.”
One of the greatest films about a love that dare not speak its name still managed to deliver this clunker. What do you mean it’s not a love story? Have you listened to the sound track? Did you watch the volleyball scene? Or the white towel shower scene?
Cheese Factor: Cathedral City cheddar. Always on offer and everyone’s favourite.
Have your own favourite line? Come and show it off at the launch of our brand new Movie Lovers Speed Dating and discover your very own dairy product matches.
Tickest available here.