How to Train a Dating Host - The Secrets They Don't Want You To Know

Our annual Rock The Boat Lock & Key Parties are the biggest and most anticipated singles events of the year. It’s imperative that we have the best hosts to ensure the afternoon goes as well as it can.

But party hosts aren’t born. They’re made.

Boat Party hosts are a special bunch, generally kept separate from the rest of society. They need to be in supreme physical and mental condition, ready to respond to any and all eventualities.

So, with just 3 days to go until our Rock The Boat Party 2015, I thought I’d give you a little insight into the magic that goes into training a dating event host.

Psychological Profiling
The first stage, like most occupations, is an interview. However, our interviews are a little different in that they’re designed to identify any flaws the particular individual may have. Extensive background checks are also made in to the personal and social life of the candidate and it can take up to 6 months and 32 interviews to identify the ideal recruit.

Unfortunately, the techniques we use at this stage are top secret but involve the latest psychological profiling and stress testing techniques.

Once we have selected our host we move on to stage 2 – Cryogenic Storage

Cryogenic Storage
After selection or after each boat party, our hosts are cryogenically frozen to maintain their physical well-being and to avoid accidents in the 12 months before the next event. We have a facility at a secret location based beneath the Thames that houses twelve stasis inducing cryopods. These pods reduce the metabolic rate of our hosts to such a degree that they age just one week over the entire year.
 
Once reanimated, our hosts are subjected to a grueling 2 week reintegration program that begins with hosting a speed date event every night and is followed by a daily routine.


Body Language
During the mornings, hosts are subjected to a barrage of tests and lectures ensuring they are able to utilise cutting edge body language techniques in any scenario.

As a result, hosts are capable of expressing acknowledgement with a thumbs up, happiness by smiling and a variety of other communicative gestures.
 

Physical Training
Afternoons are generally reserved for physical training.

Specially adapted for us by the SAS, this training ensures hosts are able to negotiate movement of speed dating participants and navigate stairs while simultaneously dancing, engaging with guests and blowing up balloons.

Every so often our hosts are also required to use microphones and answer questions so it’s essential they’re in peak physical condition.

 
Diplomatic Training
Lastly comes diplomatic training.

The handling of lock and key exchanges and prize ticket management is a delicate task. So much so that some of our hosts have been approached to work as diplomats and negotiators at some of the world’s most fragile conflict resolution discussions.

In fact, it was one of our hosts who was instrumental in brokering a peace between Wandsworth and Camden which could well have resulted in nuclear conflict.

It really is testament to how well our operatives work that many of you will have no knowledge of such negotiations.

Obviously the processes used to create dating party hosts are a closely guarded secret. But we thought we’d humanise some of the mechanisms by which we create the best of the best.

Needless to say, you’re in good hands.

We know they’re looking forward to meeting you. They only get out once a year after all.

So book your ticket now to this Saturday’s Rock The Boat Party 2015.